Declarations
Adam Lambert Confirms the Obvious: Drugs Made Him Join Idol
So this man, this Adam Lambert man, is on the cover of Rolling Stone now. Did we know this was going to happen? Hmmm, perhaps we had some sort of advance warning or something, but I only understand the language of Lambert when it’s communicated in a hair-raising wail that’s equal parts G’n’R emulation and phlegm. So what do we learn?
· “I don’t think it should be a surprise for anyone to hear that I’m gay,” he says, though we shouldn’t expect him to become a civil rights leader. “Right after the finale, I almost started talking about it to the reporters, but I thought, ‘I’m going to wait for Rolling Stone, that will be cooler,’” he says, which is true: there is nothing cooler than a confession of obvious sexuality nestled in between a tour update of Phish and a five-star Rob Sheffield review of Steely Dan’s new album. “I didn’t want the Clay Aiken thing and the celebrity-magazine bullshit. I need to be able to explain myself in context.”
· Also, he joined American Idol after a psychedelic-fueled drug epiphany at Burning Man, which I think is how it happened for Tamyra Gray.
· He wanted to bang Kris Allen. Well, who didn’t? “I was like, `Oh, (bleep), they [roomed] me with the cute guy,’” Lambert says. “Distracting! He’s the one guy that I found attractive in the whole group on the show: nice, nonchalant, pretty and totally my type — except that he has a wife. I mean, he’s open-minded and liberal, but he’s definitely 100 percent straight.” Danny Gokey is grinding his teeth right now, but it is out of jealousy.
· Then there is that cover, shot by Matthew Rolston (sorry, Adam: Rolling Stone used up its no-brainer David LaChapelle-shot cover on Lady GaGa). So many questions! Is he, uh, on the beach? Reclining on the day’s laundry? Is that a kinda fake-looking snake [i.e. homosexuality] crawling up his leg? And does he apparently trim his chest? We won’t know until Rolling Stone makes the whole article available. Hold my hand while we wait.
· The New Issue of Rolling Stone: The Liberation of Adam Lambert [Rolling Stone]
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Posted 09 Jun 2009, 9:49 AM
My God. Does nothing please you blood-thirsty reporters? Yes, Adam is gay. Yes, Adam was inspired to join Idol through drugs. Yes, he's on the cover of Rolling Stone. You know what else Adam is? A human being. Start treating him like one - from criticizing his signature high-note to bashing on the "fake" snake (which, in reality, has a pulse), you just cannot seem to show the man any mercy.
He is one of the very few celebrities who is honest and respectable, yet you don't choose to bestow the same ass-kissing treatment as you do so willing upon those who don't deserve it.
Clap clap.
Posted 09 Jun 2009, 10:02 AM
Wow, Mr. Buchanan, you really will go to any length to get people to read your pissy drivel. You take one statement out of context, and make it the basis for what you falsely claim as fact. Adam Lambert did not decide...(your implication) "Hey, I just got high...I think I will audition for American Idol." How did that statement become "The Obvious"? It's "obvious" you must be on drugs to promote trashy blogs. Are you related to Courtney Hazlett by any chance? Your mentality just made me vomit in my mouth, you needy bottom feeder.
Posted 09 Jun 2009, 5:10 PM
Way to put your money where your vomit-filled mouth is, "ANONYMOUS!" You could have at least come up with a clever moniker.
Oh wait, no you couldn't.
Posted 09 Jun 2009, 10:07 AM
Wait, let me grab some popcorn.
....
OK, I'm back. Continue.
Posted 09 Jun 2009, 10:11 AM
Awww... people who have just discovered the internet are so cute!
Posted 09 Jun 2009, 10:18 AM
Adam Lambert fans don't put up with any shit-talking.
Bad haircuts and incessant posing, yes; shit-talking, no.
Posted 09 Jun 2009, 10:27 AM
The funniest part is that he's not really shit-talking at all. In fact, I have a feeling Adam himself would probably love his Movieline coverage.
Posted 09 Jun 2009, 10:33 AM
Yeah--the bit containing the video from the YH awards was pretty complimentary. The boy has fans, what can ya do.
Posted 09 Jun 2009, 10:31 AM
That photograph sucks. No one looks good from that angle. What a waste of a fine specimen. They should have made the snake bigger and his crotch more prominent. There should be at least 2 rainbows, a unicorn, and more glitter. LOTS more glitter. And those lips need a little gloss. Too pale.
Come on, Kyle. He TOTALLY shaves his chest. JUST SAY NO, ADAM!!!
Posted 09 Jun 2009, 10:54 AM
Glammy looks like she could grow a delicious thicket of fur should she choose to put down the hedge clippers. This changes everything!
Who knew that all this time the pancake makeup wasn't really hiding bad skin, just a five o'clock shadow.
Posted 09 Jun 2009, 11:38 AM
Yes. And they should have added bananas, and sausages, and cucumbers, and a toy train going into a tunnel - no, that's too much. But, agreed, not enough in this photo.
Posted 09 Jun 2009, 10:33 AM
Adam Lambert admits he's gay...the world says "Yeah, no duh." Gabe and Anon? You two can suck it. MovieLine + Snarky = FABULOUS! Kyle? I'll hold your hand honey, mamma's here for you...
Posted 10 Jun 2009, 8:08 AM
First of all, don't call me Gabe - sorry to break it to you, "mamma", but I'm not a boy. Second of all, I will not and simply cannot comply to your request; I tend to choke on small things.
Posted 10 Jun 2009, 1:44 PM
Oh whew, you got me huh? Scorch! Guess that would have been funny if you would have aimed that comment at a guy. Keep trying though, you'll be writing jokes for Scholastic's "Captain Underpants" series in no time...
Posted 12 Jun 2009, 12:59 PM
You've all lost me.
Posted 12 Jun 2009, 6:18 PM
Oh, real wise - that's coming from some one who mistook Gabrielle for Gabe. How am I to believe your gender when you couldn't even guess that of an obvious female? Hey, now - you are the one who aimed the obnoxious (prominently male) comment at me, hun. And if you didn't want to hear an excerpt from my "Captain Underpants" manuscript, then you really shouldn't have provoked the jokester in me, mom.
Posted 09 Jun 2009, 10:40 AM
Remember the days of Defamer, when commenting was a privilege? sigh.
Posted 09 Jun 2009, 11:13 AM
C'mon, it's fun. "So he's gay! Maybe that turns you on a little, huh? Kyle? Is that the problem?" Yes, that is the problem. Wait, what is the problem?
Posted 09 Jun 2009, 5:47 PM
Yeah, I remember, when it was just 5 douchebags with nothing to say, and if you wanted to join the club they asked you "How many sweaters do you own? "
Now at least there's more QUANTITY.
Posted 10 Jun 2009, 3:13 PM
Yeah, I can’t wait till Movieline’s comment section is 7 pages of rants about eating disorders, ex-boyfriends, and John Cusack.
Posted 09 Jun 2009, 11:01 AM
I'm so tired of would-be reporters thinking we give a crap about their opinion. State facts and get on with it. So he's gay! Maybe that turns you on a little, huh? Kyle? Is that the problem? Cuz the rest of us don't see one. He's one of the most extremely gifted singers alive. God gave him a great voice, and (unfairly) great looks, too. Let him do what he does best, which is entertain us. And you do what you do best...sit on the pot and take a good dump! Thanks for asking!
Posted 09 Jun 2009, 11:21 AM
This comment is Rated PG-13 for hyperbole, falsehoods and some scatological humor.
Posted 09 Jun 2009, 11:42 AM
Christ, is there some kind of Lambert Bat Signal? Where are all of these people coming from?
But you know what, Kyle, you guys could pay the bills alone with a daily Lambert post.
Posted 09 Jun 2009, 12:24 PM
I expect an epic debate on the use of guyliner. It's almost as good as Nestor Carbonnell in The Dark Knight!
Posted 09 Jun 2009, 4:45 PM
21st century bat signal = Google Alerts
Kinda frightening, no?
Posted 09 Jun 2009, 5:07 PM
"... you guys could pay the bills alone with a daily Lambert post."
... but please refrain.
Posted 09 Jun 2009, 3:11 PM
I can't believe how inflamed some of these comments are. Sheesh!
Lighten up, it's just a gossip blog after all.
Posted 09 Jun 2009, 4:25 PM
Adam Lambert fans are just the Children of Claymates. I'm guessing they just google Adam's name all day long so that can locate anything relating to him, and then vehemently defend him against any type of blog criticism, for whatever purpose that might serve.
Anyhow, I think Adam was photographed laying on top of Ruben Studdard.
Posted 09 Jun 2009, 4:47 PM
...there is nothing cooler than a confession of obvious sexuality nestled in between a tour update of Phish and a five-star David Fricke's review of Steely Dan’s new album.
Fixed.
Oh, trouser snakes...
Posted 09 Jun 2009, 5:45 PM
Not for nothing, but I'd have to be on drugs to join American Idol, too.
Posted 10 Jun 2009, 3:07 PM
All of the above makes me regret that I slept thru Tuesday.
Posted 11 Jun 2009, 5:03 PM
Why is it that people feel the need to dig dirt on others to gossip about? People have no life-that is the problem!!! The guy can sing and he's gay and takes drugs so what?? 87% of the population has taken drugs at some stage in their life- 33% of the population has had at least one gay sexual experience in their life. The only thing that most of the population can't do, is sing like Adam does. So apart from his talent-what is the news here???
Posted 12 Jun 2009, 12:57 PM
Why are people offended by this blog? I found it funny. Adam would too - his own bro's writing style is hilariously snarky.
Posted 12 Jun 2009, 1:14 PM
Adam's fans need to chill. One of his brother's less snarky wite-ups. From negativeneil.com
"Honestly, though, I’m not hurting and “everybody hurts sometimes” is such a tautology that I’m shocked it became a hit song. It’s like singing “Sometimes we get sleepy” and parlaying that into a platinum single. Take note, Adam.
We land and I proceed to baggage claim. I grab a Rolling Stone on the way because Adam’s on the cover, lips slightly apart doing his best “Which of your kids am I going to defile? Son or daughter?” face. I read the article while waiting for the baggage to arrive and my driver, sent by 20/20 is wandering around with a sign raised high that reads “LAMBERT”. Very subtle. Some hushed whispers elicit from the gaggle of girls behind me and I realize I’m very obviously telling everyone we’re related and put it away.
The 20/20 interview was great. The woman who organized the whole thing is my kind of person. Salty and sarcastic with a mouth that isn’t shy towards strangers. We’re immediately comfortable with each other. The interview mostly focused on the recent revelation that Adam is gay. Huge surprise, America, I know. Then it’s over.
I talk to my mom and we agree that we both suffer the same symptom in interviews: we ramble. She notes that Adam never rambles and I posit a guess. The dynamic towards him in interviews is different. Reporters want to know everything and he controls access to information as he sees fit. Therefore in interviews you see Adam give succinct, witty responses. My mom and I are just greedy famewhores desperate for every second in the limelight. So we sit there and ramble, desperate for every crumb of information with which to make a trail for the interviewer. It’s pathetic really, but that’s how it is. We aren’t pathetic people, we just like validation. Nothing wrong with that."