The 2-Minute Verdict

The Two-Minute Verdict

Kristen Stewart is the Main Dish in First New Moon Trailer

Written by S.T. VanAirsdale | 01 Jun 2009, 6:00 AM | 4 comments

stewart_nm_trailer.jpgI can think of no better way to start the week than with the first trailer for New Moon, which combines virtually all the wolfcake-y, groin-tingling teases of recent weeks into one slick burst of potboiler pop. The bad news: You’ll have to wait a few months for a glimpse at Scary Dakota Fanning. The good news: ZOMG a Shapeshifter!

Let’s start with the obvious: As Two-Minute Verdicts go, odds are good that you are not in the market for the film being pushed here. But as you are likely always in the market for the latest glossy glimpse of Robert Pattinson brooding, consider this trailer a success — even if he’s hardly in it. The clear star is Kristen Stewart, whose smitten high schooler Bella Swan looks at least few years past college as the object of Edward Cullen’s desire. Or as the object of everyone’s desire, really; when birthday girl Bella hilariously declares, “Paper cut,” while opening her gifts in a room full of vampires, you can probably guess what’s coming.

So off the couple goes to the woods, where Edward ditches Bella in a desaturated clearing. He’s more than a little embarrassed (and surely hungry for more than just a slice of Bella’s birthday cake), and woman, he’s got to ramble. Along comes another predator to luridly claw her into a five-piece meal deal, but Taylor Lautner (shirtless, natch) isn’t having any of it. And I mean he really isn’t having any of it, going from 0-to-werewolf in about one second flat to keep Bella alive, intact and a fully functioning corner of the love triangle to come.

Summit Entertainment didn’t have to do much here to stir interest; any moving image of R-Patz and Stewart would likely have been enough to clog middle schools around the country with more arrhythmic hearts than a cardiac ward. But you can’t deny the improved texture of director Chris Weitz’s images compared to Twilight’s barely-there compositions, and even Lautner’s mid-air species change has a fun, semi-shocking suddenness to it. Again, you and I are probably not the market for this, and maybe you won’t even see New Moon this November. But if you want to see even just a few frames more at the end of two minutes (and admit it — you do), then Summit’s work here is done.

VERDICT: Sold!

· THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON trailer in HD [MySpace]

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Tagged: chris weitz, kristen stewart, new moon, robert pattinson, taylor lautner, Twilght

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Comments

From NoWireHangers | Reply
Posted 01 Jun 2009, 8:49 AM

I squealed like a 13-year-old girl.

From Colander | Reply
Posted 01 Jun 2009, 9:47 AM

Oh, that makes two of us. Don't tell dad.

From MurasakiTurtle | Reply
Posted 01 Jun 2009, 9:54 AM

I hate myself for being intrigued. But I love a good-bad vampire flick(As much as I hated the books), Hardwicke's ugly/klutzy/OMG WHY DID SHE NEED TO MAKE EVERYTHING SO MOTHER****ING BLUE?!/AVID magic-wand-sparkle-application directing stripped all the fun from what could have been a tasty cheesefest.

This, however: Is that chedder I smell? I do believe it is! Nom.

From Girl86 | Reply
Posted 02 Jun 2009, 9:56 PM

Taylor=jailbait. His shirtlessness is turning me into a pedophile.

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