Goodness, take the toys and driven back and forth across them? I sometimes wonder what some of these people were expecting going in to a Michael Bay film.

Ha!

I'm saying Marshall “It finally occurred to me that pyrotechnics are Bay’s pornography" Fine is slow on the uptake.

But the positive reviews are as great.

http://www.empireonline.com/reviews/reviewcomplete.asp?FID=135198

#2 just got real. Transformers defines summer blockbuster, and summer blockbuster defines pure, indulgent, masturbatory American pop culture. And for that reason I will get really excited, sit on the edge of my seat during the midnight opener, and then weep quietly for our civilization.

Terry Schiavo jokes? What, "Where's the Beef" was too outdated?

Wow, MaryAnn Johanson, you just earned yourself a new reader in me. Awesome.

these hater quotes are pretty awesome.

and they pair quite nicely with your surprisingly high-rated review of the movie, plus the very warm, fuzzy, lovefest of an interview with kurtzman & orci. really covering this movie from all angles, aren't we movieline? :) love you guys.

I love the first Transformers movie. It took the preposterous mythology just seriously enough and was even clever in places. Like the first Charlie's Angels flick, I can watch it over and over and still be captivated by the spirit of light, mindless fun.

I had my hopes up that Bay had turned over a new leaf of non-suckage, but it looks like this one's just as in-your-face bad as Charlie's Angels 2. Luckily for me, I enjoy creatively scathing reviews nearly as much as I enjoy mindless, fun movies.

My favorite quote so far, from the above-quoted Chicago Tribune review, is "like listening to rocks in a clothes dryer for 2 ½ hours."

Interesting...on the same day that Transformers 2 is released, the Academy announces that there are now 10 slots open for Best Picture. Sid Ganis, you old Decepticon you! BTW, since when is snorting cocaine of a hooker's ass a bad thing?

I look forward to when this movie in on HBO so I can flip to the porn channel during the dialog scenes.

@Anon - Empire Online (and the magazine) always ass-kisses these sorts of movies. Their on-set invites and studio access would dry up if they gave realistic reviews and ratings to this sort of junk.

Sunnydaze, there's dialogue in this movie? That's a surprise...

"male teenage cinematic equivalent of snorting cocaine off a hooker’s ass."

How is this a negative comment?

this is hard to describe as it's not my native language, but, are there still people out there who really believe that a movie with big robots capable of transforming to cars and construction machines will be able to reach intellectual heights. this is a popcorn movie that shows the progress of CGI-technics made since the late 80s and that's its main purpose. you are not gonna loose your brain because you watched it, you are not going to start taking drugs, stop taking drugs because of it. the fighting scenes do not make you think, war could be a "cool" typical american thing, that's gonna make you start becoming a typical american hero - in fact the war scenes in the two movies to me seemed to show a very cruel (not by shown blood, but as people obviously getting killed by explosions or falling buildings) picture of war, also the scenery that is used in both movies can somehow be compared to those where us-troops are placed in reality at the moment. also megan fox does much more to this movie "than meets the eye", she's not the movies typical "dumb" babe, but a beautiful selfaware young woman, having a life beside of her relationship to the main-character of the movie, doing a job (mechanics) that in no way is typical to girls/women used in stereotypes. does this movie use stereotypes? of course, but when it does, it often plays with them in an ironical way. it's of course no masterpiece and doesn't want to be, but it's also not using tragical historical happenings in a completely "scientifical" cinema fitting wrong way, like "the deviants" does

I can't decide ... is Ebert's comment about "The Rock" praising or mocking? Personally, it took me quite some time to recall that flick after reading Ebert's remarks and I didn't find the reminder welcome.

As a fan of the original series, I dragged myself to the first film despite reading about the cross-promotional contracts signed with GM and the military, which would alter the personas of my favorite characters. A speechless Bumblebee parading around as a Camaro? That can't be good. The very moment that solidified my distaste was a single line from Jazz, "What's crackin' bitches."; All respect for Michael Bay was buried at that point, and happy pills couldn't even get me in line to see the new film.

Hmm, sounds like some people who enjoy the shared delusion that film is more than an entertainment medium don't like examples that don't fall inline with that pretension.

Just because film can be art, does not mean film is art. You work in the entertainment industry, get over it.

Now dance for me monkeys, dance! :D

It's funny, MaryAnn Johanson (an All-American name if I ever saw one...like, that's so us!): you seem to only note the Hollywood types of things that make Americans stand out to the outsider. When I look at America and Americans I see my father working hours he shouldn't have to just to provide for his family. I see my mother and stepfather building a house from the ground up with their friends. I see my wife lose 90+ lbs to be a healthier mother to our child. I see our child love books rather than Television. I see myself with no cable bill. I see a stack of pictures that I drew by hand that I would never sell and would rather give to those who liked them. I see one day building my daughter a doll house in the woods so she can have a hideaway for her and her friends to skip off to. I see my wife and I able to offer help to our friends in need. I see myself, though working a job that I hate, getting along with my coworkers from all walks of life, race and religion (or sometimes lack of) included.

I think it's you who is loud, obnoxious, sexist, racist, juvenile, unthinking, visceral, and violent… and in love with yourself for it. It takes a special kind of person to just point out all that's negative about a place where only the negative makes money. Kind of like your review.
Couldn't you just have said "This movie really sucks and made me feel stupid?"

well honestly i thought the movie was great. It had every element of a good movie should have. Why all of the hatred? Lol. I think it was a good movie. 16,000,000 in one day tsk tsk. Obviously 16,000,000 people thought so to. Second opinions don't matter.

so 16,000,000 means they all liked it

yay for logic

FROM ETHAN HUNT | REPLY
POSTED 25 JUN 2009, 5:12 AM
" Obviously 16,000,000 people thought so to."

In what world do movie tickets cost one dollar?

Its funny to me reading these comments, that these critics actually expected Transformers to be the next Shawshank Redemption, or Godfather. One other commenter brought up a perfect point, it's an entertainment movie people, come on. A popcorn, "what else do you have to do this evening" fun movie. Wow-tastic booms are the point. Hey at least its not a ditzy blonde falling over her high heels trying to run away while throwing sticks at the monster thinking it will matter. Yes its loud, but its called the "action" genre... Did you think you were coming in to watch a Charlie Chaplin movie. Its robots that turn into cars. Seriously, should Spongebob Squarepaints be philosophical and bring symbolic truths to the slayings in Rawanda?
If you want deep, groundbreaking storylines catch an independent film or wait till the winter openings. Summer is about Bang, Boom Ahhhhhh... Its movies to check out at the Imax. Its thoughtless enjoyment so why bash on it so much for doing exactly what it intended.
Don't get me wrong some of these reviews are hilarious, and when I ever do read critics and they happen to bash a movie I am usually more prone to go see it... Guess I need to go back and see what some of these people stated about Snakes on a Plane... "The hidden id for the pink, yellow and blue snake was not symbolic enough for this drivel of a movie sips double espresso mocha latte cappuccino, and I believe that Samuel Jackson portrayal of the protagonist was overly dramatic with to much emphasis on the melodrama of the situation..." blah blah blah... I can see it already.

Whilst the critics will have and no doubt have had a field day with this one, it was never meant for them. Sure, it lacks any sort of depth, I think you should just take it for what it is though, a pretty gratuitous movie to stare at in awe, but not expect it to change the world.

“I’m certain that someday it will be acknowledged that Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is like the most totally awesome artifact ever of the end of the American empire. It’s so us, a preposterously perfect reflection of who we are: loud, obnoxious, sexist, racist, juvenile, unthinking, visceral, and violent… and in love with ourselves for it. […] What we have right here is the Easter Island statue of our legacy.” — MaryAnn Johanson, FlickFilosopher

..And that is why it was so much fun to watch! Pop culture rocks! ...and if you haven't noticed, Devastator clearly showed some balls in one scene! (**my sons were laughing!)

“Terry Schiavo would have been bored by this bloated, ponderous piece of shit.” — Devin Faraci, CHUD

Devin, shut up and enjoy the movie.

It's quite intriguing why a film made to entertain is so much criticized when all they need to do is sit back and enjoy the show. What's $9 to you? a large popcorn? a cup of Starbuck's?

I'm partial to Pajiba's review, which starts out: "I realize I’m stating the obvious here, but it bears elucidation in light of this review because it’s the single biggest driving force behind Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Michael Bay has a profoundly tiny dick."

http://www.pajiba.com/film_reviews/transformers-revenge-of-the-fallen-review.php

I don't think any critics were expecting a Schindler's List, they were expecting a movie with a trace of value of any kind.

Some people who are defending Tranformers are essentially saying: the critics should expect the movie to be a piece of crap, so therefore the critics have no right to criticize the movie for being a piece of crap. It's not great logic. Here we go, if you like shiny things go see this movie. There's my review.

P.C. - MaryAnn Johanson's comment was not intended to imply that every American shares those qualities. Her generalization of the negatives of our popular culture (not individual) was an intentional writing device to emphasize how the film reflects everything wrong with America's popular media and culture.

The critics are just doing what they are being paid to do. If the movie is really not up to 'dramatic' standards...they HAVE to report that [in their own way of course]. Even if they secretly did enjoy that 149 mins, they can't say so .... they have their reputations at stake [and the knowledge that other critics will be reading their work]. Micheal Bay doesn't bother with these guys because at the end of the day his movies make money ...consistently. I'm no big fan of his, but let's call it what it is , if his movies sucked that bad, word would get around by whatever media, about it , and at the end of the day it would bomb.That isn't the case is it.Ticket sales are big because lots of people go and see it, then go and tell their friends to go see it, and then opt to go see it again. That's all there is !

all of you people that are complaining about what this movie says about our culture must remember that movies are fictional stories that are meant to be outragous and fun. That's what this movie was, i saw it last night and i thought it was great!!! there is nothing wrong with watching a movie with cool cars, alien robots and attractive women, that is the fun of fantasy. Pure and simple great entertainment for the intended demographic! so suck it all you winers out there let us enjoy something genuinely fun for once, it won't hurt i promise.

often, it is beyond my comprehension that people would expect a movie like transformers to have redeeming qualities beyond big explosions and good looking characters.

is there something so profoundly wrong with turning your brain off and watching an action adventure?

It strikes me as quite humorous that all of you wanted some sort of epic story. Of what? Did you not know when you went to the movie that the entire story line of Transformers even in the olden days was robots fighting each other? Why would Michael Bay change that. Did you want a Brokeback romance where the robots fell in love. I also get a kick out of those who say it was "unrealistic". Really? Robots from outer space who have built in scanners and can become any piece of equipment they scan. Now c'mon you cant tell me that's not realistic.

HA

Just like it's not gonna kill you to watch a shallow movie that you might enjoy at times or even all the way through, it's also not gonna kill you that people critique the film. As seen here, it is part of the fun.

Whenever I read reviews I just remember how almost universally panned Star Wars was when it first came out. A couple months later when it was still drawing huge lines in the theaters reviews some how started coming out positive. Hmmmmm...

The 80's transformers cartoon was about transforming robots that came to earth and barely interacted with other people in order to gather energy to rebuild their homeworld, also to beat the crap out of each other.

The movies were about transforming robots that came to earth to gather energy to rebuild their homeworld, also to beat the crap out of each other.

Can someone tell me why anyone has a problem with with movie, sounds like they got the original plot down pretty well.

Best Movie to date. These reviewers can suck my ballz :D

Unrealistic. These people have their brains stuffed full of that Reality CRAP they keep putting on TV. Smothering the airways with Reality shows has drained them of their ability to Imagine or Dream of fantastic worlds and creatures which do not exist. The movie was really not all that different from the old cartoon that used to air on a daily basis. Giant transforming robots that try to destroy each other while befriending humans is what your going to get with this story. Bay stayed true even with the minor changes to characters.

Taking your anger out on your children's toys sure shows the quality of person you are.

Michael Bay has given so much to the world. He has created thousands more jobs than the critics who dare to criticize him. Michael Bay is one of the greatest filmmakers and businessmen of all time. His movies have action, not people talking to one another for the whole movie. I'm not being sarcastic either. Special effects, hot people, impressive music, understandable writing. That's the key to a top notch film.

Personally, I loved it. It had awesome action scene, I inherently already care about Optimus and the gang, and I genuinely felt bad when an autobot bit the dust. It's not The Departed, it's a fucking action movie. At the end of the midnight screening, people got up and all clapped at the ending. I went and saw it again last night, at a sold out show.

These reviewers are asking for way to much on a movie based on robotic car toys. This shit is ridiculous.

Remember that this film is being critiqued by older people and who probably arent to big on big bangs and teenage humor. maybe this film was targeted more to teenagers because this movie is all my friends are talking about. and they say it was great. when I whent there were showings sold out and a line had formed for a showing that doesntstart for an hour and a half. I thought it was aweome.

Im sick of the self proclaimed intellectuals, sticking their nose in the air and telling us how this movie represents everything wrong with movies, and America in general. This movie was filmed on the pyramids in Egypt, know why? Because foreign leaders and citizens loved the first one so much they were honored to let them film in their precious landmarks. The massive amounts of poor reviews i've read for this film leave with one impression, film critics are becoming even more out of touch with people. This movie was awesome, it was fun, the plot was incoherent but who cares. ITS BASED OFF A CARTOON and a CHILDRENS TOY... To the people that say the humor and stereotyping was inappropriate, the generation that grew up with Transformers is in late 20's and early 30's.. Not 8 year olds.. LIGHTEN UP

is it me or the last 10-20 comments here were written by michael bay under different names lol

I wonder what is so wrong about being an object of lust as a woman? I say a lot of power resides in lust, just have to be smart enough to use lust to get that power. This is a movie targeted to the male audience, don't forget that. Boys will be boys.

this movie is not about america. It is about autobots and decepticons lolz

I did not like the gangsta twins. Thought it was a bit racist. I liked the film other than that. I cringed every time the robotwins spoke. Why the F^%# does a robot need a gold tooth? But now that I think about it. They're have been a ton of stereo-types in cartoons and most of them I found funny. I guess that when it's live action then it seems to make a more impact-full statement. I think that if you saw Roadblock from GI Joe in live action speaking the way he did in the cartoon the whole thing would be shut down.

"...like the most totally awesome artifact ever of the end of the American empire."

Absolutly! Flushing money down the toilet would have been a better use of it than creating this movie. The scary part of it is that a lot of people LIKED it!

Oh yes, boys will be boys - We like cars and toys. ;)

Why do people call something a "popcorn flick" like it's an excuse to be mindless drivel that warrants turning off your brain?

Those days ended when "popcorn flicks" started being defined by things like Batman Begins/The Dark Knight, the Spider Man movies, Pirates of the Caribbean, Lord of the Rings, James Bond, the Pixar movies, Iron Man, The Matrix...

Many of these, believe it or not, were praised by the very critics that people accuse of being out of touch with audiences. Popcorn flicks are the films that people go on when summer vacation starts for students, for workers, and for well...almost everybody. People go to them because they count on it being the one that will have the most universal appeal. The Transformers movies are being panned across the internet...obviously it isn't living up to expectations.