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What Might Have Been

Why Didn't Scarlett Johansson Play This Bald, Bisexual, Thor-Violating Superheroine?

Written by Kyle Buchanan | 27 Jul 2009, 4:00 PM | 5 comments


As we noted earlier, Scarlett Johansson told us at Comic-Con that at one point, she’d discussed the possibility of playing three other superheroines with Marvel: Scarlet Witch, Blonde Phantom, and the mysterious “Moon.” At the time, we couldn’t find a Moon in Marvel’s collection, but we think we’ve found out who Johansson meant, and she’s a doozy.

Commenter Christopher Campbell suggested that Johansson actually was referring to Moondragon, a super-powered telepath introduced in the Iron Man series who was, at one point, one of the Avengers. Here are the insane fun facts you should know about this character Johansson was potentially interested in:

· According to Wikipedia, Moondragon “is openly bisexual, and has respectively been attracted to Daredevil, Thor, Cloud, Quasar, Marlo Chandler, and Phyla-Vell.” Sadly, the Green Lantern and Deadpool haven’t figured into Moondragon’s black book, limiting the chance Johansson might have had at swapping cinematic spit with husband Ryan Reynolds.

· She’s bald! Forget dying her hair to prove to Jon Favreau her commitment to Black Widow — Johansson would have had to break out the Gillettes to earn that reported nine-picture deal.

· Oh, she also kind of raped Thor once, which would have set up an interesting crossover plotline/The Other Boleyn Girl reunion with Natalie Portman.

In summation, Johansson clearly should have chosen Moondragon over Black Widow, building to an Iron Man 3 sequence where she solves the love triangle brewing between Tony, Pepper, and herself by administering some super-roofies and boffing them both in outer space.

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Tagged: comiccon09, iron man 2, marvel, moondragon, scarlett johansson

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Comments

From Dubrovnik | Reply
Posted 27 Jul 2009, 4:33 PM

There was also a storyline once where Moondragon was tortured by being forced to listen to Limp Bizkit. True story.

From el smrtmnky | Reply
Posted 27 Jul 2009, 5:39 PM

well, she wouldn't be hanging out with green lantern because he's a DC character and Moondragon is Marvel.

From Christopher Campbell | Reply
Posted 27 Jul 2009, 8:27 PM

Thanks for the credit and continuation, Kyle. As I noted in a SpoutBlog list last year, Moondragon would have been a good inclusion for the Avengers movie:

"Moondragon – I’m not too familiar with this character, but in case I didn’t make it clear: WE NEED MORE LADIES. But why Moondragon over Tigra, She-Hulk, Spider-Woman or any other superheroine? Because bald women are super sexy in science fiction and comic book movies (see Star Trek: The Motion Picture; Alien³; V for Vendetta)."

http://blog.spout.com/2008/05/06/ten-avengers-characters-who-should-be-in-the-movie-but-probably-wont/

From TimGunn | Reply
Posted 28 Jul 2009, 7:28 AM

this is a little silly. Moondragon is about as D-list as they come. And then all the weirdness, even by comic book standards. No way that character is making it into any of the movies.

From Lowbrow | Reply
Posted 28 Jul 2009, 4:56 PM

Wait, I'm confused now. So "Moondragon" is the new codeword for Britney Spears?

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