The 2-Minute Verdict
The 2-минуты Вердикт: Angelinka Jolskie in Russian-Dubbed Salt
The good news: We have a trailer for Salt, the Phillip Noyce-directed spy thriller once meant to star Tom Cruise, then rewritten to accommodate the gifts of noted orphan-farming she-commando, Angelina Jolie. The bad news: It’s dubbed completely in Russian.
In it, Jolie plays a Natasha Fatale-esque CIA agent accused of being a sleeper spy for the Russians — which explains some of that flawless dubbing. A conversation behind a one-way mirror leads Jolie to enter New York the usual way (i.e. via boat through Ellis Island), a crime-infested metropolis overrun by assassins still using Get Smart-era shoeblade technology. Fielding instructions from Lievski Schreiberkov back at HQ, she retrofits a fire-extinguisher into a makeshift bazooka, then runs for her life from snipers in the Double Agent wig from the Kim Zolciak Collection. We’re still not entirely sure what’s going on in the moment captured below, however; either Jolie channels her predecessor with some Mission: Impossible-style latex disguise, or we’re accidentally glimpsing a look at the latest craze in starlet skin-rejuventation techniques, the full-facial epidermi-peel.
THE VERDICT: Da, why not.
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Posted 03 Nov 2009, 2:22 PM
Maybe the reveal is Cruise beneath the mask.
Posted 03 Nov 2009, 5:16 PM
that. would. be. awesome.
Posted 03 Nov 2009, 3:20 PM
Here (available for now):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uv_kHXYK09A