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5 Brittle, Body-Conscious Honky Actresses Could Learn a Thing or Two From Mo'nique About Onscreen Orgasms
Yesterday, we suggested Mo’nique suffered from a yet-to-be-discovered neurological disorder known as Auscartism. We do believe apologies to Ms. ‘nique are in order — as it is we, not she, who is hopelessly Auscartistic. Not only is the Precious star (and, one feigned orgasm later, we’re now convinced a Best Supporting Actress sure-thing) willing to submit to the drudgery of Oscar-season roundtables, she cuts a clean swath through the scores of anemic thoroughbreds pegged by THR as her strongest competition:
worthy actresses whose spindly waist circumferences are equal to that of one healthy Mo’thigh, who recoil in prudish terror at the thought of on-camera lovemaking and its unforgiving partner in crime, cellulite and/or flat-ass exposure. By comparison, Mo’nique’s candid recollections of the glee with which she dove uninhibitedly into the Mary Jones Self-Diddling Sequence — “Just dream,” she advises the others, as if it were the most obvious advice ever dispensed — are the golden filaments from which true cinematic light is sprung.
Give this fake-orgasming genius her trophy, already.
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Posted 10 Dec 2009, 11:40 AM
God bless you, Mo'Nique, you just don't give a fuck.
Also, she is looking really good.