12 TMI Moments from Kirstie Alley's Jamie Foxx-Worshipping Oprah Interview

Today's edition of The Oprah Winfrey Show, advertised shamelessly as a look inside of Kirstie Alley's "Big, Big Life," was not really that. In contrast to the message conveyed in those promos -- "Kirstie Alley once wore a bikini for Oprah and now she's FAT again, join us on Thursday to talk about how FAT she is" -- a 75-pounds overweight Kirstie Alley was actually stopping by Harpo Studios to hawk her, ahem, new health food program.

But who can blame Oprah's producers for misleading their viewers with those advertisements? Not many people would have tuned into the show if it had been advertised as an hour of Alley preaching the benefits of an organic diet plan that had not yet resulted in her weight loss, especially the viewers that sympathized with Alley most when she was horking down triple cheeseburgers on Fat Actress. But the Cheers alum had an excuse for not shedding pounds yet -- she was waiting until A&E's cameras were at her house so that they could capture the process. If that's not enough bogus Kirstie Alley for you, here are a dozen other oversharing revelations to sate your appetite:

1. Alley blames her weight gain on the fact that she lost control of her vessel: "I forgot that I was the captain of my soul."

2. She recruited her jovial handyman Jim as her "chubby buddy" because she couldn't stand seeing him chowing down chips five feet away from her.

3. She hasn't been on a date for ten years.

4. She has a love-hate relationship with tabloids. On one hand, they "are cathartic because it gets you to confront yourself." But on the other hand, she "hate[s] them."

5. It took Alley three years to come up with her weight loss program.

6. The actress flew a chef in from Australia to help her come up with a recipe for green soup, which is a cup of "literally everything green" liqueified.

7. Confession: Her go-to diet dinner is a plate of three BBQ chicken wings with skin. (Oprah chimed in "a wing without skin is a pitiful thing.")

8. She has a special voice she uses to communicate with dogs -- revealed and demonstrated during the segment in which she surprised an Oprah viewer by ringing her doorbell and then making over her bedroom.

9. Alley called the above process "Ding-Dong Decorator."

10. Kirstie Alley loves Jamie Foxx. No: she really, really loves him, not just because he's handsome, but because he is so incredibly talented, hilarious, a wonderful actor and an even more incredible musician. I'm paraphrasing, but this is a direct quote: "I don't envision marrying Jamie Foxx but...I could envision being in Italy with him for three weeks."

11. The above fantasy is what keeps Kirstie Alley on her strict BBQ wing diet.

12. If you surprise Kirstie Alley with a satellite-version of Jamie Foxx, the actress will tear up, blush uncontrollably, fan herself until she just can't take it anymore, and get up to make sweet love to his flat screen visage. All this, while her daughter sits in the front row.

13. Bonus: Alley's lust for Foxx runs so deep that she calls herself a "Foxx Hound."