Batman, Star Trek, and 7 Other Geek Porn Parodies You Know You Want To Watch

The other day the interweb guffawed in secret delight at the SFW teaser trailer for Superman XXX, the latest in a string of highly successful adult films to parody mainstream properties. Naturally, we had to shove aside our pristine moral sensibilities to investigate this phenomenon, which is only going to grow larger as porn studios spin-off entire geek-centric imprints to market their wares to all those people crowding Patton Oswalt out of his favorite booth at Bennigan's.

But onward into the great ETEWAF! Behold, nine more geek porn parodies past, present, and future that you know you want to watch. Just do it on your own time, and don't tell Patton.

Batman XXX: A Porn Parody

The superhero parody that spawned the recent boom in geek porn, Batman XXX was such a success it launched the new Vivid production arm Vivid-Superhero for director Axel Braun. Dad Lasse is a porno chic legend himself; Axel will carry on the family legacy by next tackling adult versions of The Green Hornet, Spider-Man, Wonder Woman, Captain America, Thor, and The Incredible Hulk. He didn't get that MENSA membership for nothin'!

This Ain't Avatar

Evan Stone is the Stephen Lang stand-in whose militaristic bosses are mining for "unrefined viagratanium" on the alien planet Panwhora, where human Jake dons blue body paint and teaches the locals how the sky people get down. In 3D.

The Human Sex-ipede (First Sequence)

If any movie from 2010 was primed for the XXX treatment, it was Tom Six's horror pic about three unfortunate souls sewn together by a mad surgeon. Director Lee Roy Myers (who's been up for awards for previous porn riffs on The Big Lebowski, Cheers, and Seinfeld) lends a sense of humor to the original story, while the porn version of Dr. Heiter drops one-liners. Example: "I'm so dirty the girls from Two Girls One Cup have to videotape their reactions when they watch me." [NSFW trailer at Fleshbot]

Reservoir Dogs

The studio that brought you Justice League porn is making a three hour, "dialogue-heavy" XXX version of the Quentin Tarantino classic, with ladies in the roles of Ms. White, Ms. Blonde, Nice Girl Eddie, etc. The only problem we have with this is, who watches porn for the talking? [Still in production, no trailer available]

Star Trek: The Next Generation XXX

Also coming your way in the New Year: Captain Picard and the crew of the Starship Enterprise getting it on in outer space! Well, almost; the cast will be headlined by a mainstream actor in the role of Picard, which probably means your Dr. Beverly Crusher slashfiction dreams won't come true. Better odds are on a Worf-Deanna-Riker ménage a troi. [Still in production, no trailer available]

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Comments

  • butt head says:

    Another sign of the morals of the country going to hell.

  • Donut says:

    Yes you said it ! These are Blood Clots...Babylon is going to burn !

  • Loch says:

    Glad it's only the morals that are going to hell, not the actual people.
    xoxo

  • Matt says:

    Can't believe you missed out on the legendary ET: The Porno. With a female ET and her glowing finger...

  • JNF says:

    I miss how parody porn movies used to have awesomely cheesy, yet ridiculously clever titles for the movies. Now its so boring just adding "xxx: a porn parody" on the end of everything. I mean you know the movie is going to be horrible even for porn standards, but at least the titles were memorable.

  • I'm gay, but I really like just watching these parodies, because they really are well-done. The Batman one is good, and the Star Treks are absolutely amazing. Evan Stone as Kirk is an absolute treasure, and the way they remade the sets is astounding. Looking forward to this TNG one coming out! (I'm such a geek.)

  • Brian Clark says:

    Amen

  • Jen Yamato says:

    Amazing! And very, very disturbing. If it were a Movieline 10 I'd add it to the list.

  • G says:

    "The Sex Files" actually looks pretty good. I can't believe I just said that.

  • Mike says:

    Clearly you've overlooked "Lord of the G-Strings." A true heavyweight in this genre.

  • therobotaku says:

    This list just reminded me about how bummed I am at Scott Pilgrim's poor box office performance... Just imagine "Scott Pilgrim Fucks the World".

  • John says:

    These parodies are really good, I love the performance of Bat-Man and Star Treks very much, they are amazing. Sweet childhood memories.